Today is Friday August 18. I left home Monday August 14 and returned last night, Thursday August 17. For the time in between I was in Chicago on vacation visiting one of my best friends, Ann, with Joshie. We played tourist in Chicago and I got to visit the Northwestern campus. Did you know I am working on my Masters as a student in Northwestern's School of Professional Studies? Yep, I am. It is an online program and so I was thrilled to get the chance to visit the campus. We rode a water taxi, visited the American Writers Museum, and the highlight was the main reason we went....we saw Hamilton!!!
What does this have to do with cookies and my struggles with food and my weight? I am glad you asked, I am getting to that, hang with me, I promise my trip has a place in this other than to get to say I SAW HAMILTON!!!
Sorry, couldn't resist. Here, have a cookie:
Ok, Ok, I am done, I promise....
As you know, I am trying to get back to and then stay at 144-145 pounds. I knew I would be doing a fair amount of walking on vacation and I know my Ann is a baker and that she is on my side and wants me to be healthy and all that comes with it and get this surgery approved so I was going to be encouraged to eat.
I left home Monday with the attitude that vacation of for relaxing and guilt free eating. It's the perfect excuse, vacation, the one we all are ok with.
Joshie had a must do list for this trip and it included Garrett Popcorn Chicago Popcorn. We had it 6 years ago when we went to Chicago last and it was delicious and I thought I would have some too.
Side Note: Chicago mix sounds like it should be totally gross, it is cheese popcorn and caramel popcorn....together...but it is incredibly yummy!!! It works, I don't know why, but it sure as hell works!!!
On Tuesday we grabbed some. Ann and Joshie each got a bag and I grabbed an empty bag and took some from each of them and made a serving for myself I could be comfortable eating, both calorie/food struggle wise and because all that CRAY CRAY aside I am still diabetic so...popcorn...caramel...need to be careful.
And it was delicious. I ate and enjoyed every bite...and the guilt didn't hit for hours..and it was minor and I was able to push it away rather quickly. We had walked about 21k steps so I wasn't too worried. But maybe I should have been....
I tried to eat without worry about what and just eat what I wanted when I was hungry in an amount that was satisfying.
I ate steak. I ate a salad with cheese and nuts and dressing, a dressing I had no idea the stats of. I ate popcorn. And....
yes....I ate cookies. And I wasn't worried....But maybe I should have been.....
Ann makes these amazing Soft Ginger Cookies. They are my favorite non-chocolate cookie. They have become a tradition in our house and we make them for Thanksgiving and Christmas every year and a few other times in the fall when molasses and ginger are needed to make me feel connected to her. It is also Joshie's favorite non-chocolate cookie.
so I ate one at her house and we took a bunch on the trip home with us. I ate a cookie and a halfish (maybe a little more, I ate the broken one or ones) on the trip. And loved every bite.
I felt like I had done ok. I didn't eat much yesterday on the way home but it was not because I didn't want to or wasn't able to, well it was that I wasn't able to but I wasn't able to because of access not emotions. There wasn't anything in NorthStation other than pizza and McDonalds and I can't do pizza (too much blood sugar impact) and McDonalds is gross. I ate pop chips and a cookie on the train and wasn't that hungry anyway. And I had a turkey burger earlier for lunch at the airport in Chicago.
But yeah, I didn't eat much yesterday. But I think I did pretty well Monday - Wednesday both in quantity and in guiltlessness.
But....
mother fucker....dam it all....
this morning I am....
141.8
What the hell....I tried...I really did....
Looks like I still have a long way to go....
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